I have been asked often, how I have gotten Riley to nap/sleep so well. I realize it is a major struggle for a lot of parents that involves a lot of tears and exhaustion, and trust me, I have been there too. This is what has worked for us based on my own situation/child and let me be clear that every situation is different and if non-napping kids works that is great! There is absolutely no judgement here. I simply would love to share our story in the hopes of helping others who are desperately trying to get their kids to sleep better.
There is a lot of books out there about how from the get-go as soon their born, you should avoid developing negative sleep associations (ie. rocking to sleep, paci, bottle, falling asleep in your arms, movement, etc). I remember when I was pregnant with Riley I read a book on this very subject and felt that routine and structure would work well for our family and, according to the book, negative sleep associations had to be nipped in the bud right away for that to happen. When Riley was born, we tried to do that. I quickly realized that trying to put her on schedule and not let her be rocked to sleep, etc. was not working for us. I was miserable, she was cranky, and honestly, I wanted to cuddle my baby! So that's what we did. I nursed her to sleep, let her nap/sleep in her swing, took walks with her, etc. In my opinion, they are too young to have a schedule when their first born. Let them nap when and however they choose. The first months it is about bonding and survival. Enjoy your precious baby.
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When Riley was about 4 1/2 months old, we were living up at camp where my husband works for the summer. Riley was sleeping in her bassinet attachment on her pack and play, but we were quickly realizing she was too big for it and it was becoming a safety issue so we decided it was time to transition her to the actual pack and play part. We knew she wasn't going to like it because she likes to feel tucked in and comfy. We decided rather than wait a little longer to sleep train, we might as well do both at the same time. So we ventured into the Ferber sleep training method (if you're unfamiliar with the method, follow the link for more info from Babycenter.com). We put her down awake the first night and screamed after each check-in for almost two hours before falling asleep. The second night an hour and by the third night she cried for all of a minute and feel asleep and slept until 3 am when she was ready to feed and that was that! In three days, she had learned how to put herself to sleep at night and she has been doing it ever since. Those night were EXTREMELY difficult. I'm pretty sure I cried as much as she did, but my momma friends who have sleep trained were a wonderful encouragement to me and we got through. You can too! She was still too little to be sleeping through the night, but she immediately dropped to one wake up at around 2:30-3 am each night and then went back to sleep until 6 am. The difference here was we taught her how to fall asleep on her own so she no longer needed me to help her fall back to sleep. We also began doing a routine with her every night so that she would eventually associate that routine with sleep at it provided her a natural wind down time for bed. Ours went like this; bottle, bath, lotion with massage & a song, pjs, book, song, bed. It may seem like a lot, but it lasted all of about a half hour. The key with our routine was separating the bottle from bedtime (about 20 minutes apart) to avoid middle of the night wake ups as she got older and no longer needed the middle of the night feed and would just be doing it for comfort. By the time she was 5 1/2 months old she was sleeping through the night (7:30-6 am). Sleep training may not be something that works for you but I will say that it was worth the short time of suffering for her and my husband and me, to have her where she is now getting quality sleep every night (even through colds and teething). To this day, we still follow the same routine, bath and all, because it works. Her bedtime has pushed up to 7 pm because she dropped that late afternoon power nap and she sleep from 7 pm-6:45 am every night.
Naps were a lot more difficult.
Babies naturally adjust quicker to nighttime sleep because our bodies are made that way, but daytime sleep isn't as easy for a baby. Up until Riley was about 6 months, we let her nap however we could get her to nap. Most days it was cuddled up with me or my husband or in the car when we were out running errands. We had just moved to our new home and decided it was a good time to start sleep training her for naps. We followed a similar, shorter version, of her bedtime routine. She would feed, play for about 15-20 minutes (to let her belly settle and keep the bottle and naps separate) and then we'd change her while singing a song, read a book, sing one more song and put her down awake. We followed the Ferber method again. It took about a week before she realized that we weren't going to take her out of her crib to play,cuddle, etc. so she might as well sleep. If we gave in, she would get the message that if she cries enough, she'll get what she wants and she'd do it every time. I joked that it was "baby bootcamp". Sounds cruel, but I promise you, she was fine and she is well loved. We still have our ups and downs with naps. She has the occasional gas, teething, overtired, not tired enough-days, but most days she naps like a champ. As I am writing this, she has been napping for over two hours without a peep. She also took a 1 1/2 hour nap this morning. I am not saying this to boast, but to show you it is possible and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
The biggest things for us..
1. Routine: They need structure and ques to help them know when nap time is. Naps at around the same time each day and specific bedtime/naptime routines (ie. diaper, book, bed)
2. Cut poor sleep associations like pacifiers, falling asleep with a bottle/movement/in your arms out and put them to bed awake, which usually means a bit of sleep training.
3. Understand what is normal by age, certain triggers that may impact their sleep, etc. This lady is a genius, and a blog I read almost everyday when helping Riley learn to sleep. She has A LOT of valuable information and tips.
I hope I am able to help some of you out there help your kids to sleep better! Next week, I will be discussing another aspect of The Lindquist Life so be sure to stay tuned!
-A
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